What defines a relationship?

This post is not a story. It’s not a thought either. It is basically a question that has intrigued me since the time I learnt that ‘relationship’ wouldn’t be a proper word in the sentence ‘I am in a loving relationship with my sister’. Yeah, I was a 6^th grader and was asked to write an essay on ‘My sister’ (they ask to write essay on such topics even in class 6^th !!) and my intention was to write that she loves me a lot. Believe me, I am not a Lannister. So the question is “What defines a relationship?”

I know I am going to take CAT exam about 11 months from now and that I should be well acquainted with meanings of such simple words but still. The more I contemplate about it, the more I get entangled. Ok, so there are two people, friends, and everything is fine. Then one fine day, one of them says “I love you” and the other one reiterates those three words with a concatenation of “too” at the end and they enter into a relationship. They will celebrate that day for next few months or probably years, till they don’t find someone else. My question is, what happens in that moment that suddenly changes things from ‘we are friends’ to ‘we are in relationship’. What is that transition phase? What is that thin line that distinguishes the two?

Is it holding hands or a kiss or probably sex? But aren’t these things that people do ‘outside’ of relationship also. I have seen friends normally holding each other’s hands while crossing the street that doesn’t mean they are in relationship! Is it love alone that defines it? I have also seen people saying ‘I love you but I don’t want a relationship’ so even the criterion of love is out of question. Or is it the size of their wallet or the color of their skin?

Be with someone who makes you happy, they say. Yet, I see people tolerating the other person for no good reason. I mean it completely baffles me to think that why would someone stay with the guy who hits her? Why would someone spend so much on a girl when he clearly knows she won’t be there when his credit card expires? And then there are those one sided love stories. They are like feticide of the world of relationships. 

In india, you probably won’t get laid before your suhagrat, so if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend here, how is he or she different from your best friend? At emotional level, probably your best pal has known you since the time you wore knickers and so obviously knows you better than that guy whom you met at the party last week. So how you differentiate those two connections? How you know that you aren’t teetering on that thin line that demarcates the both?

How do people know it is more than friendship? I read somewhere ‘people with whom you talk after 12 aren’t just friends’. Well good luck people working night shifts at call center!! How do people know they are ready 'finally'? I wonder about those butterflies people talk about in their stomach when they see their so called ‘better halves’. Do those butterflies die when they lie to their partners, when they cheat, when they fight?

Yeah, you probably might have guessed I am forever alone types…..maybe that’s why this question particularly intrigues me ‘what defines a relationship?’