After wasting a lot of ink and my time, I was finally done
with my first love letter. And it was…or perhaps, it is by far the most
embarrassing passage jotted down by me. However, it was applauded by my love
guru-Anish. Chhaya was going to be discharged that day and the plan was to give
her the love letter outside the hospital and anticipation was that she would
read it and then come running towards me in slow motion, her parents would try
to halt her but she would swirl and dodge their attempts and finally reach in
my arms. Yes, it was all Anish’s imagination.
I was ready. I had embellished myself with the best shirt and
trouser that I had, surreptitiously shaved off the few strands of hairs I had
on my cheeks using my father’s razor, emptied the bottle of deodorant on myself
and memorized the few words I had to say to her before giving her the love
letter. I was waiting outside the city hospital and finally the moment came. Her
hideous face emerged from the hospital door. She was accompanied by her
parents. I sauntered towards her. Her glance rested on me for a while. She gave
her characteristic grimace and trudged towards me. “Again here to see your
grandfather?” she enquired. “No…. I came to show you something,” believe me….these
seven words still remain the most regretted sentence that ever came out of my
mouth. “What?” she gave me a spooky glance. Her lips curved in a weird fashion,
her eyebrows rose to join her locks and my heart sank. I rummaged in my pockets
for the letter but couldn’t find it. “What you wanted to show?” she asked
again. With hands still in my pocket, I cued towards my trouser. “My new
trouser,” I rambled. “Seriously! You came here to show me your new trouser,”
she appeared as the ugliest person alive as she gave her regular disgusted
look. Then she turned around and went back to her parents, talked to them for a
while and then hopped in her car which scuttled away on the thronged street.
I came back to home, ruminating where I might have dropped
the love letter. Just then my sister entered the room. “Who is this chhaya?”
she asked. I think the earth took a quick rotation just at that second. I looked
at her; she gave me the most malevolent grin. “You are like my mini mouse like
my daisy duck,” she chuckled as she recited few more lines of my love letter. “You
don’t propose a girl like that my brother,” she guffawed. I was just too
embarrassed to say anything. She then picked out a five-star from her pocket. “Mom
brought this for you….but I need this to keep my mouth shut about Chhaya madam,”
she grinned. There are few things I can’t compromise with, sleep and chocolate. So
I pounced upon her and almost managed to snatch the chocolate but she slipped
from my grip. After a couple of blows I gained a favourable position once
again, but this time I let her slip away because I liked the satisfactory smile
she gave after winning a combat with me.
Next day Chhaya came to school and my usual days were back. In
the recess she again tried to steal my lunch but her attempt was sabotaged by
me. World war 3 again broke out. After an interminable battle, when finally I snatched
back my lunch, I realized something. I didn’t love her. Anish had been wrong
the whole time. Yes, it was true I missed her when she wasn’t around; I missed
these little quarrels, this vying but that didn’t imply I loved her. Maybe I liked
her company, I also like the company of my dog but that doesn't mean I want to hold my dog's paw, marry him and spend my entire life with him. I definitely didn’t love her. I loved food. I loved my sister but
not her. Had I loved her, I had let her win, let her take away the thing so
dear to me. And that was the last time I thought about her in that way.
P.S. : she left school after class 10th and I lost
touch with her. I met her recently and I was like what the hell!! Don’t know
which plastic surgeon operated on her, but she looks stunning now and I regret
that stupid thing I thought in that recess in seventh standard. :P
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